[E–book] XL Love AUTHOR Sarah Varney
I appreciate the author being forthcoming about her bias that she believes obesity is inherently disadvantageous to people s health and sex life While the author builds a strong argument to support this view from an academic medicine standpoint there are enough errors and selective presentation of data view from an academic medicine standpoint there are enough errors #and selective presentation of data view points that I cannot consider this an expert opinion and in fairness the #selective presentation of data view points that I cannot consider this an expert opinion and in fairness the herself doesn t claim to be a sexual medicine or sociology expert There is at least one instance when I believe she misattributes narcissistic personality disorder traits for harmful psychological conseuences of obesity to the detriment of her interview subject and her argument Also she seems to have failed entirely to interview any members of sex positive communities or kink communities that are not specifically focused on weight or size in which it is common to find obese members who will self assess their sexual drive and function highly as would healthcare providers trained in sexual medicine And it is this laring omission from a book attempting to take a survey of XL sex in America that made me dial down my review from a 5 to a 4 star and to make sure Hanne Blank s Big Big Love is next on my reading list wwwjusttoomanybookswordpresscomI actually became aware of XL Love a couple of months before it was published This article on CNN didn t seem to have Charlie O. and the angry A's good things to say about the book So naturally I had to read XL Love when it came outVarney explores sexual development marital happiness and intimacy across ageender and race line with one common factor overweightness or obesity Since 2 in 3 Americans are overweight and 1 in 3 are obese its a perspective that can t be ignoredThe single biggest factor in plus sized love Varney concluded isn t body size it s body image While many factors play into a happy married sex life the biggest component seems to be a compatible spouse who values their partner at any sizeVarney is the first to admit that XL Love doesn t have all the answers Studies on weight sex and race are in the early stages relatively speaking But as body sizes in this country continue to balloon this is a subject that can no longer be ignored Varney addresses plus sized love with not only medical studies but also insight and understanding I m not much for non fiction if I read it I have to sit down and read the entire book in one sitting I m never oing back to it later Doing that with XL Love was no problem I have highlights on every page I nodded and mmhmmm d through every story seeing myself and my life throughout the pages of this book And I agree with a reviewer on that said reading this book was like reading the transcript of a really interesting episode of This American LifeThe author intersperses some beautiful descriptive writing around anecdotes from people who are overweight and want to lose weight Coupled with the stories is the science behind weight loss sex and obesityI was drawn to this book by a recent snippet posted at Saloncom about dating after weight loss being concerned about your partner wanting you after either being refused for so long while your libido went dormant or because you have so much loose skin as to actually feel uncomfortable and unattractive There is a phenomenon which Varney writes about called The Whore Syndrome in which a person presented with so many new choices doesn t know which one to choose and so eager and energetic. With two out of every three Americans overweight or obese it's all hands on deck scientists are studying how excess fat changes physical and mental health demographers are calculating how it's shortening life spans and economists are debating the impact it has on America's productivity and lobal competitiveness But how weight affects intimacy and sexuality is barely discussedYet it's a uestion of high importance for the tens of mill. For our health then again tons of stuff like dumping raw sewage into our rivers lakes and oceans isn t o for us either distracted or drunk drivers aren t keeping people alive neither is disease poverty war drugs uns and sanctimonious people who think their way is the only way is definitely a hazard But obviously maintaining a healthy is ideal eating well moderate exercise trying to avoid other pitfalls basically moderation but instead of shaming those who aren t an ideal weight perhaps we should stop subsidizing those who pump sugar salt and fat into the population daily and while we re at it clean up our environment Obesity isn t the best
State But Society S And but society s and this author s attitude isn t making it better shaming people doesn t fix a problem it just it better shaming people doesn t fix a problem it just it worse So the ultimate uestion discussed dissected and pandered to in this book is obesity complicated America s love lifewhat Can love really et that complicated I really doubt weight is the biggest hindrance to love but it probably isn t helping either I bought and read this book because of the freshness of the topic The author a sometime NPR reporter has a talent for putting the reader inside the hearts and minds of her subjects While I thoroughly enjoyed the profiles depicted I take issue with some of her other methods It is unfortunate that she uncritically accepts the BMI standards and seems to tacitly endorse bariatric surgery Anyone who has thoroughly researched these topics would know the merits of both are hotly debated So why does she mostly ignore the critics Some of her word choices are peculiar as well More than once she refers to slimming women as deflating Likening a woman s shape to a plastic toy is not empowering Overall this a fascinating topic that might have been helped by a sensitive copyedit Obesity crisis this book produce indebted studies scientific studies about obesity Premature puberty was profound in one particular race Food intake was to blame fast food junkies or sugary snacks or just plain sugar Studies take you to Primate Research Center or to a Chief of Pediatric Endocrinology or Gynecologist at Standford University or a German Sexologist to a Human Sexuality Scholar Sociologist University of Alabama Dept of Nutrition at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill and many medical professional Obesity Researcher mentioned how a woman see s her body and how other people see it Licensed Therapist in Vestal New York specialize in sexual intimacy counseling and dealing with the loss of attraction But what ot my attention in this book the personal stories that accompanied the studies Whether it was traumatizing or silly the stories were very profound having a very deep insight of the problem obese people face Maybe this book will open people s eyes to the plight and emotional state and struggles with obesity Various subjects were touched in this book from intimacy and sexuality to sexual dysfunction and many other problems to Bariatric surgery and erotic stimuli This book opened my eyes I won this book First Read Giveaway on Goodreads thank you Darlene Cruz This book was very different then anything I ve ever read but I enjoy it Throughout the book Varney explores how being Big or Obese has effected society and their love lives While parts are depressing the book is very interesting and informative A prolonged advertisement for bariatric surgery. He way of loveIn XL Love Varney travels the country and tells the personal stories of men and women who are experiencing what millions of others feel every day along with the stories of those who are in the business of helping them physicians researchers scientists psychologists sociologists and Analytic and immersive personal and eye opening XL Love tackles the uestion How is sex changing in America as the shape of Americans changes. ,
Sarah Varney ↠ 4 Read & Download,
They choose them all This happens freuently after weight loss surgery when a patient might be feeling new found confidence attractiveness and a return to lustful thoughts and feelings I was most interested in the section on teens what s considered fat vs thick among black Dark Passage girls vs whiteirls
and black boys vs white latino and asianblack boys vs white Latino and Asian Forming relationships at a young age helps us mature into healthy young adults but 2 of every 6 Americans being obese affects this rite of passage Everything from the shallow attitudes of teen boys even those who are heavy themselves saying NFC NO FAT CHICKS to risky BEHAVIORS THAT HEAVY TEEN GIRLS MIGHT that heavy teen American Military History and the Evolution of Western Warfare girls might in Are fatirls really easy Varney explores this in depth I found her description of a college Delivering Your Mail: A Book About Mail Carriers (Community Workers) girl with normal self esteem being destroyed afteroing away to school to find that men valued her less and felt she deserved someone less attractive because she was overweight I too would fall for a young man even an average looking young man and just when I thought he might reciprocate he asked me for a phone number for one of my thinner pretty whatever er friends That s a tough lesson to learn and hard to UNlearn She The Vanishing Man: In Pursuit of Velazquez goes further to discuss weightain and loss and how it affects marriages What does it mean when a husband or a wife loses weight Is the need to lose weight not simply about healthy but inherently tied to the desire to find a mate I find myself relating to so many of the stories in this book specifically those about dating post extreme weight loss I understand the science of attraction people Easy Breezy Miracle go for what they think they canet and either they think very highly of themselves or they re self aware enough to stay in their lane So when a person feels like they could attract someone ood looking but they don t sigh I was hoping to read some anecdotes about a person that had to look past dropping a ton of weight to find love and happiness Those that had post weight loss intimacy issues were already married or dating This book is only six chapters long but six LONG chapters She covered so much and yet I felt she could have covered I could have done with a few breaks but over all this was an incredibly enjoyable entertaining and educational book AN INTERESTING LOOK AT HOW OBESITY interesting look at how obesity the love lives of those afflicted There are plenty of books on the health and economic impact of obesity but I don t think I ve ever seen one on how it impacts relationships This book is written from a very knowledgeable well researched perspective and is filled with individual stories This book is non judgmental and very enjoyable Learned some interesting things To be honest I thought this was a plus sized romance until I saw the subtitle Let me sum it up obviously without ever seeing a picture of the author we know she s thin and thinks that all fat people have to do is show willpower and they ll be thin like her Her disgust of obese people blazes through and she believes what she believes is right and flippantly accepts outdated standards which have little in common with reality She s that person you know the one that thinks if she says mean things to fat people they ll be shamed into losing weight or maybe if she just harps on it enough that ll do the trick Sigh Reality isn t that bad come join us Ms Varney It wasn t a bad read with some ood points if you could Get Fast!: A Complete Guide to Gaining Speed Wherever You Ride get past the holier than thou tone I agree obesity may not beood. Ions of Americans who are overweight or obese and having difficulty sexually and romantically It is changing and complicating the mating ame and married life alike; stunting the ability of young people to find happiness; and tipping some heavy but otherwise happy couples into divorce For many a larger body has meant a troubled mind a decline in sexual uality an increase in self loathing and a tendency to let these factors stand in .